Oh So College!

Only One
Yellowcard

Broken this fragile thing now
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one that gets me like you
You are my only my only one

Here I go so dishonestly
Leave a note for you my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, but there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one



The Reason
Hoobastank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You [x4]

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

A Day Late

Last night, my good friend Jen and I got the chance to talk on YM after a couple of months of only talking through our Facebook walls. We talked about a lot of stuff, maybe that's what you get as an advantage of not being able to talk for a long period of time. The stories are kept so you have a bunch to share to each other. We met 3 years ago through MySpace. We were connected through this guy in a band which we both liked (not the guy though, but the band. haha!) So fast forward, we got into talking and even if we still haven't seen each other, she was so inviting and nice. But she went to Dubai and we got the chance to spend time with each other with other friends before she left. Now, even if she's just miles away, our friendship is still intact and she's the same person that I met before. She has a steady boyfriend now though, btw, me too! Hahaha! I love her. I love Jen. :)

While we were talking about life, she shared to me this song that she overheard while I was blabbing about some of the recent happenings in my life. Lemme share the lyrics:


A Day Late
Anberlin

So let me get this straight
Say now you loved me all along
What made you hesitate
to tell me with words what you really feel?
I can see it in your eyes
you mean all of what you say
I remember so along ago, see I felt that same way
Now we both have separate lives and lovers (and lovers)
Insignificantly enough
we both have significant others

Only time will tell
Time will turn and tell

We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
we are who, we are who we were when

Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when

But thoughts they change
and times they rearrange
I don't know who you are anymore
Loves come and go and this I know
I'm not who you recall anymore
But I must confess
you're so much more than I remember
Can't help but entertain
these thoughts, thoughts of us together


We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when
Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when

My day late friend

So let me get this straight
All these years
and you were no where to be found
And now you want me for your own
But you're a day late
and my love, she's still renowned

We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when
Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when

We are who we were when
Could have been lovers but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when
Who knew what we know now
Could have been more but at least you're still my day late friend
We are who, we are who we were when (fade out)



Hahahahaha! Bottom line? Maybe its better to just shut up. :)

My Johari Window

http://kevan.org/johari?name=anabananarama



ANSWER, ANSWER, mi friends! :)



Mine.

The Archipelago of Kisses

We live in a modern society. Husbands and wives don't
grow on trees, like in the old days. So where
does one find love? When you're sixteen it's easy,
like being unleashed with a credit card
in a department store of kisses. There's the first kiss.
The sloppy kiss. The peck.
The sympathy kiss. The backseat smooch. The we
shouldn't be doing this kiss. The but your lips
taste so good kiss. The bury me in an avalanche of tingles kiss.
The I wish you'd quit smoking kiss.
The I accept your apology, but you make me really mad
sometimes kiss. The I know
your tongue like the back of my hand kiss. As you get
older, kisses become scarce. You'll be driving
home and see a damaged kiss on the side of the road,
with its purple thumb out. If you
were younger, you'd pull over, slide open the mouth's

red door just to see how it fits. Oh where

does one find love? If you rub two glances, you get a smile.
Rub two smiles, you get a warm feeling.
Rub two warm feelings and presto-you have a kiss.
Now what? Don't invite the kiss over
and answer the door in your underwear. It'll get suspicious
and stare at your toes. Don't water the kiss with whiskey.
It'll turn bright pink and explode into a thousand luscious splinters,
but in the morning it'll be ashamed and sneak out of
your body without saying good-bye,
and you'll remember that kiss forever by all the little cuts it left
on the inside of your mouth. You must
nurture the kiss. Turn out the lights. Notice how it
illuminates the room. Hold it to your chest
and wonder if the sand inside hourglasses comes from a
special beach. Place it on the tongue's pillow,
then look up the first recorded kiss in an encyclopedia: beneath
a Babylonian olive tree in 1200 B.C.
But one kiss levitates above all the others. The
intersection of function and desire. The I do kiss.
The I'll love you through a brick wall kiss.
Even when I'm dead, I'll swim through the Earth,
like a mermaid of the soil, just to be next to your bone



Jeffrey McDaniel


*Link

Love II

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.


-Neil Gaiman

Love

the last kiss

Stop talking about love. Every asshole in the world says he loves somebody. It means nothing. It still doesn't mean anything. What you feel only matters to you. It's what you do to the people you say you love, that's what matters. It's the only thing that counts.

Strawberry Shortcake: How to Love a Woman (and All You Will Ever Need To Know)

From page 100 of Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood"


“… So I made up my mind I was going to find someone who would love me unconditionally three hundred and sixty-five days a year. I was still in elementary school at that time — fifth or sixth grade — but I made up my mind once and for all.”

“Wow,” I said. “And did your search pay off?”

“That’s the hard part,” said Midori. She watched the rising smoke for a while, thinking. “I guess I’ve been waiting so long I’m looking for perfection. That makes it tough.“

“Waiting for the perfect love?”

“No, even I know better than that. I’m looking for selfishness. Perfect selfishness. Like, say I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortcake. And you stop everything you’re doing and run out and buy it for me. And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortcake out to me. And I say I don’t want it anymore and throw it out the window. That’s what I’m looking for.”

“I’m not sure that has anything to do with love,” I said with some amazement.

“It does,” she said. “You just don’t know it. There are times in a girl’s life when things like that are incredibly important.”

“Things like throwing strawberry shortcake out the window?”

“Exactly. And when I do it, I want the man to apologize to me. ‘Now I see, Midori. What a fool I’ve been! I should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortcake. I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. To make it up to you, I’ll go out and buy you something else. What would you like? Chocolate mousse? Cheesecake?’”

“So then what.”

“So then I’d give him all the love he deserves for what he’s done.”

I love this Doctor!

Let me share this email that I got the other day from my mom.

1.Q: Doctor, I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it…don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

2.Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

3.Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

4..Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

5.Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!

6.Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!!…Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

7.Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

8.Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

9.Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

10.Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! ‘Round’ is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
‘Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways – Chardonnay in one hand – chocolate in the other – body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘WOO HOO, What a Ride’

AND…..

For those of you who watch what you eat, here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

The One That Got Away

Today at 12:58pm
Source: The Manila Times
By: Mark J. Macapagal


In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter.

All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "the one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got this one?

Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away."

You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."

Hello May!

It's already May 2009, and I'm still a freakin' housebum. WTF. What's happening to me? No calls from the hospitals that I applied. No nothing! I'm losing hope. Really. You wouldn't want to live the life that I have right now. Boring, penniless, career is going nowhere. I bet my cholesterol levels are already rising and clots are already forming in my bloodvessels. I want to work. I don't want to stare in front of my monitor for 12 f*cking hours anymore. I hate everything that's happening in my whole life now. I hate it.

Idea

Time to get MORE serious in blogging. I haven't blogged for months now even if I am not doing anything in my life! Ideas come and go inside my head. I wanna do this, I wanna do that. But I am not being productive and all are just blahs. Maybe I need to do more action rather than talk. So starting today, *crossed fingers*, I will blog more. Like every other day? Or even everyday. I've said it before and I'll say it again: We'll see!!! Lol. I hope I can do this!

Why America?

As I woke up this morning, American Idol was the first idea that popped in my head. Why? Because today is the results day for the show. I always wanted to be one of the firsts to know the results and who got axed out of AI. Okay, I always knew it was Matt Giraud's time to go. But WHAT THE FCUKIN FCUK? ADAM LAMBERT landed in the bottom 3? Or should I say, bottom 2??? That is just plain ridiculous! I've always considered him to be the front-runner of the this year's season. I just hope that it doesn't get into his head this early. Okay, lemme summarize and describe the video that I watched in the American Idol site. I knew that it was very unfair and uncomfortable for Adam Lambert to get to choose which side he belongs with. Hello? Why did you do that to our super nice Adam? On the show, Matt and Kris were on the left side while Allison and Danny were on the other side. Adam was the only contestant left and Ryan gave him the most uncomfortable chance to choose in which group he thinks he belongs to. Adam chose Danny's and Allison's. Then Ryan brought him to the other side. I saw the disappointment on Adam's face as he raised his left eyebrow and he was looking down. I felt his pain. I felt like crying. OMG. Bottom 3? WTH?! Then Kris was announced SAFE by Ryan. Matt and Adam were left at the center. Of course, Matt Giraud got booted out. And I saw the relief in Adam's face!

I think that this show is really really scripted. Maybe they did that on purpose, because they don't want the people to think that Adam is already the winner so that the people will not lose the interest to watch the show. Adam's performances are really superb. He is one talented person. One heck of a performer and entertainer, not to mention his awesome voice and vocal range. He totally gives me the only enough reason on why to watch this year's show.

Another hunch would be, maybe america got so complacent of the fact that lots of people will vote for Adam, so most of those voters did not vote that much anymore. Well, we'll never know. I loved Adam's Rat Pack performance. His voice just makes me go gaga and the performance made my jaw drop. Not to mention the totally hot entrance. *claps* He can sing ANYTHING, y'know. Give him your phone book and I bet he could sing it. La la la love him! He's the man I want next to Shia! :D

Next week's theme is ROCK theme! Hell yeah! Adam will definitely rock America for sure! Adam will surely not land on the bottom 3! LET'S CROSS OUR FINGERS Y'ALL! I really hope he wins this even if he already landed at the bottom 3. He deserves to win. He's the only Idol remaining that is somewhat interesting and new. Okay, not somewhat. But he's the only interesting, unique and definitely on the league of his own contestant remaining. I hope that you agree with me. The others are just so boring. Well, I also like Allison. I think she's funny.

Adam Adam!

I LOOOOVE ADAM LAMBERT! HE IS ABSOLUTELY MY NEXT AMERICAN IDOL!!! <333

25 Random Things About Me

25. My current addiction right now is Gossip Girl and I am so into Serena and Dan's wavy relationship. I even found out that they are a couple off-screen! :D

24. I can tie a cherry stem into a knot.

23. Lewis Alfred Tenorio is my favorite PBA player and has been my crush since his ADMU days. I was in 2nd year college way back then when I started liking him LOL. I even have a picture with him! omg. <333 Until now, I still would love to meet him! While my favorite NBA players are Chris Paul and Lebron James.

22. I've been a bum for more than 2 years now. I'm currently looking for a hospital job.

21. Nursing is not my first choice. If my mother did not push me to take up Nursing, I would have taken up either Communication Arts or Accountancy. I am one of the few who loves Math!

20. People person. That's me. To those whom I haven't met yet nor doesn't know me yet, I am very talkative and I do have a lot of stories/stuffs to tell. I am never quiet but Im sure that when it comes to secrets, you can always trust me. But I just learned that I/you should not be too friendly coz you dunno who are those who remain true to you. *wink* People's first impression of me is Mataray, well mebbe its because of my eyes.

19. I used to be a die-hard fan of the Moffatts. I think I watched their concert here twice or thrice and even had my CD (Submodalities album) autographed by them. Too bad I wasn't able to meet them. My favorite moffatt was Clint btw. Hehehe. :D

18. When I was little, I want to be a cashier in a Department Store. I dunno, I love it when they use the cash register and type the prices of the stuff you buy. Well my other childhood ambitions were to be a Doctor, Lawyer and a Business Woman. Lakas!

17. Addicted. I am an internet addict. I can stay in front of the laptop the whole day. Just surfing and photoshopping. Hahaha :)

16. Who doesn't love chocolates? I sooo love them. But my favorite would be Reese's peanut butter cups, Hershey's kisses, Barnone (is it still available?), Butterfinger, Toblerone and Hershey's Cookies and Cream! Lol that's too much!

15. Honestly, I am a very straight-forward and a really nice person. I don't have enemies (as far as I am concerned, lol) and I would never want to have one. I am definitely one of the nicest and sincerest persons you'll ever know. Just don't go bitchin' me up or do something really annoying and so unfriendly that's way too obvious coz I won't back down on you. I hate liars, backstabbers and the plastics. :D

14. Another thing about me is that I have this very weird allergy. That whenever I get shocked or whenever I sneeze, my face and upper body becomes itchy then the red spots would appear. HALP! Im a nurse but I dunno what kind of allergy is that! :((

13. Okra and Talong. I don't eat them. But I can eat anything else, wait, as long as its not too spicy.

12. One of the boys! I'm comfortable being around with men coz I am one of them. Lol. Seriously, I just know how to get along with them.

11. I miss going to gigs and drink with my friends there. Too bad I have no work so no money. In short, bankrupt. And Im committed nao :D

10. Another thing that I miss is going to school and I regret not doing the best that I can. So to the students out there who might be reading this, study well coz you only live once so go get the best grades you can get!

9. I love to be loved and be pampered by my boyfriend. Hihihihi. I love it when we go out of town, when we eat as if there's no tomorrow and when we just watch television shows and argue about them. Lol

8. The last time I went to Boracay was before going to college! So that would be in the year 2001! Oh my, that is so ancient. And so this summer, pretty please, I wanna go to Bora. If not summer, well this year. PUHLEEEZE!

7. Sometimes when Im all alone, I ask myself what is God's plan for me. Look, I am a bum, no money, no work, I am getting fat, im a failure, the number of nurses in the Philippines is growing and growing and growing. So, I ask, What is God's plan for me? Then at some point, I've thought of ending my life. Well, I just think about it, I have no guts to do it. LOL. I even have a suicide plan, i will intoxicate my liver and stomach with Aspirin. hahahahaha! Suicidal! Until now, I still ask myself that question :D

6. I used to wear braces, I wore it for 4 years. I used to be a part of our cheerleading team in college, so I used to be not THIS fat. And I miss my long curly brown hair. :( I just had a haircut and Im thinking of getting a perm again as soon as I have the money!

5. Edward gave me an Ipod Touch! Woooohoooooo! :D I am so into music, it feeds my soul. I am into electronica, old school rock, electro-rock, trip-hop, slowjamz, rap-rock, etc and the music of Chino Moreno. Basta, kahit ano!

4. Downright simple. I am a very simple person though sometimes complicated, but I am a girl, right? I am rugged and cowboy, place me anywhere, I will not complain. I am not maarte although I look like it. lol :D

3. I believe in GOODVIBES. Got it? :) Happy happy!

2. Ana LaBeouf. LOL! Shia LaBeouf is my humongous hugest crush! Ahaha. I have lots of crushes, but all of them are celebrities! (coz BF is a seloso, LOL, love :p hihi) I like Gerald Anderson more than Jake Cuenca now. I effin want to see John Lloyd Cruz in person! Haven't seen him yet. Others are Nate Barcalow of Finch, gawd, his MTv of Letters to you is the bomb! I also like Jason and Michael Castro, hmmmn different styles but awesome set of eyes. Penn Badgley of Gossip Girl, what a cutie, and his voice.. his voice!!! Haha :D Well, if I write them all here you'll all get tired.

1. I am a lazy person. Very. Lol. I am a coward most of the time. I believe that I still have a lot to learn. And can summady please share me some of his/her guts (hindi lamang loob ha?)? hehe

Hi!

It's been a long while since I last posted something here. Like 2 months? Yah. I'm someone you can call "sa umpisa lang magaling" Hahaha. I forgot what to call it. Okay then, where do I start? I took my NCLEX last Sept.23, I got sick days after it, Ed and I almost broke up, bummed around again, then I failed my NCLEX. Yes. :(